Another excellent interview at Diary Of A Ceo, regarding body language. Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of ‘Science of People’, which gives people science-backed skills to improve communication and leadership. She is also the bestselling author of ‘Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People’ and ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication’.
Here are some take-aways:
- Gestures Over Words (00:00): Our brain is 12.5 times more likely to trust a person’s gestures over their words, as gestures are harder to fake.
- Importance of Cues (00:27): Behavioral researcher Vanessa Van Edwards emphasizes that highly successful people understand the hidden language of cues (non-verbal communication) that boost both warmth and competence in social interactions.
- Five Warmth Cues (01:16): For those who are perceived as intimidating or hard to talk to, using warmth cues like authentic smiling and tilting your head can help make you more approachable.
- Contagion of Emotions (35:45): Being around high performers improves your performance, while being around low performers can decrease it by 30%, showing how emotions are contagious.
- Body Language in Presentations (40:00): Effective speakers use gestures and different vocal tones to emphasize importance, numbers, or storytelling, which engages listeners more deeply.
- Non-Verbal Bridge (37:55): Small, non-verbal gestures, such as a light tap or slight touch, can help build trust and create emotional connections in relationships.
- The Power of Aggressively Liking People (22:35): The key to building connections is to make others feel liked first, which can lead them to like you back.
- Avoiding Overused Questions (1:24:30): Asking «What do you do?» can be boring and put people on autopilot; instead, ask more personal, thought-provoking questions to foster genuine connections.
- Imperfect Social Interactions (2:00:13): Making mistakes, like spilling something or being imperfect, can actually make you more relatable and create deeper bonds in social situations.
- Social Strengths and Connection (2:31:32): Understanding and playing to your social strengths (whether storytelling, empathy, or humor) is key to creating more meaningful relationships and better interactions.
And this is an index of all the contents:
00:00 Intro
02:13 The Crucial Role of Cues for Success
03:45 I’m a Recovered Awkward Person
05:36 What’s an Ambivert
07:28 One Word Can Change the Way People Think
09:39 The Most Fundamental Skill to Invest In
12:41 The Resting B*tch Face Effect
16:01 Do Not Fake Smile!
18:29 The 97 Cues to Be Warm & Competent
21:44 The Formula to a Perfect Conversation
24:37 Science Reveals Why Some People Are Extremely Popular
28:34 Message People Telling Them This…
33:22 The Luck Experiment
35:05 Being Around Successful People Is Contagious
41:55 The Importance of Hand Gestures
43:38 Hand Tricks to Be Liked
54:15 The Scientific Formula to Be More Charismatic
56:47 The Danger Zone of Being Too Warm or Competent
58:45 The Power Cues
1:07:55 How to Spot a Liar
1:15:23 If You’ve Been Told You’re Intimidating, Do This
1:18:37 Don’t Let Anyone Use This With You
1:21:45 The 6 Questions to Connect With Someone
1:34:20 Leaning Too Much Towards Someone…
1:39:03 How to Greet Someone
1:49:42 How to Master Messaging
1:54:40 Personal Branding
1:59:01 Improve Your Dating Life With These Tips
2:04:27 Body Language and Brain Connection
2:06:33 Are You Awkward? Watch This
2:10:14 How to Get Someone to Approach You
2:15:08 How to Make Friends as an Adult
2:18:57 AirPods Are Killing Friendships
2:22:16 Ads
2:24:08 How to Spot a Liar
2:30:05 Toxic Relationships
2:32:34 How to Start a Conversation With a Stranger
2:37:00 How to Get Started With All This Knowledge